By Vexen Crabtree 2005
Simplicity itself! There would be no suffering, no evil, no pain and everyone would be in heaven. All our lost friends would be back with us and no-one would die. People could do whatever they want and go wherever they want. People could kill and torture... but no-one would want to, because there is no sin or suffering in heaven, and if anyone tried to hurt anyone else, it wouldn't work because there's no pain in heaven either. All problems are solved! Everyone would have free will to choose to do whatever good things they wanted to do.
There may be people who don't deserve to go to heaven. Well, I'll put them in heaven anyway because I'm infinitely patient, merciful, and I want to do what is good for people whether or not they deserve it. When I am God, there is no longer any need for justice because all sins are forgiven, and everyone is in heaven. In heaven, everything is just, and no actions can ever cause anything any harm.
I would eliminate evil. It simply would no longer exist. There would be no natural disasters, no illness, no mental disease, no volcanoes or earthquakes. Unborn babies would not die, children would not be abused or suffer and there would be no ignorance or prejudice. All of those bad things are only possible because God made them possible. I would make all those things impossible; just like you can't choose to grow wings and fly to the moon, I would make it equally impossible to do evil, because evil wouldn't exist anymore. See: The Problem of Evil: Why Would a Good God Create Suffering?.
God previously created many people; many with a massive predisposition towards sin and transgression. I would no longer create such people. Because I would be all-knowing, I would know in advance who was going to sin and end up in hell. Well, I simply wouldn't create those people. Therefore everyone who gets created are those who go on to freely chose to be good people. Simplicity itself! No-one sins, no-one wants to do wrong, yet everyone still has free will. It's just that those who chose badly were never created.
Previous god(s) communicate, for some odd reason, through obscure mumbo-jumbo in ancient languages. Mistranslations and confusion resulted, as no-one really knew what God meant, and because God appeared to say many different things to many different people. Well, if I was God, I would appear to everyone simultaneously and tell them what the truth was. There would be no more confusion, no more silly religions, no more mistranslations of God's word. I would tell everyone what I wanted them to know. From now on, everyone born would have an inherent understanding of what is true. So there can be no falsehoods when it comes to what you should believe! People could then choose to reject me, or accept me, as they so wish... but at least they'd be making informed choices and I wouldn't be punishing people just for not knowing the right stuff!
It would no longer be necessary to eat or drink. Or, rather, food and water would just appear on plates and in rivers. There would be no need to kill for food. Animals would not be predators and prey; they would all live peacefully because they don't need to kill each other anymore. Only an evil God would make it so that beings had to eat other beings in order to stay alive themselves. As I am not an evil God, everyone would be fed and sustained directly with manna from heaven. No-one would go hungry or thirsty and there would be no more malnutrition or unhealthy diets. People would thoroughly enjoy manna from heaven more than they ever enjoyed food.
Why doesn't God do these things? And just as importantly... why did God create evil, suffering, sin and the food chain in the first place? There are two possibilities to explain God's confusing choices: God Doesn't Exist or God is Evil. People who believe that a god exists should probably spend more time wondering whether their God is really the good guy or not! Maybe if everyone believed in Vexenism, the world would be a better place!
“The existence of such large quantities of suffering, despair, pain, of natural disasters such as earthquakes, of the death of the unborn and the immense suffering of lovers & kind-hearted people means that god is evil and intentionally creates life in order to create suffering. That all life exists in a food chain means that life is completely tied to death, and such a barbaric biological cycle could only have been made by an evil god. Also, that such a god appears not to exist, or actively hides itself, is a source of confusion, conflict, war and stress and is again more likely the antics of an evil god. Given the state of the natural world, it is impossible that a good god exists. It is more likely that an evil god exists, but, it is sensible to assume that there is no god of either type. Even if there is not a god of either type, as the dominance of death and violence in the natural world, a result of nature being abused by life and not being designed for life, I think the evil symbol of Satan is the best representative of the state of reality and the universe, whether or not an actual evil god exists.
If God did exist and was evil, it would undoubtedly lie and tell everyone it was a good god and that it loved them. It would create maximum confusion by preaching multiple conflicting religions. It would create heaven and make it hard to get to in order to tease and torture people into making their own lives hell. As all of those things happen, if there is a God, it is doing the things an evil God would do!”
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(1764) Voltaire's Philosophical Dictionary. E-book. Amazon Kindle digital edition produced by Juliet Sutherland, Lisa Riegel and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.